Advice

I would have to say that the thing that I liked the least about this class was the blogging, simply because I have never done it before. I guess you could say it was the fear of the unknown. On the positive side, I learned a lot about the structure of the family and this class has really made me become more of an open minded thinker. The advice that I would give to future students who are looking to take this class online would be just to make sure that you are staying up in the class. Just because you don't have to physically go to school doesn't mean that you don't have work to do.

Sandwich Generation

The "Sandwich" generation is the middle-aged generation. They are often looking forward to the "freedom" from certain responsibilities. However, in many cases they are being sandwiched by their children who are either returning home or simply never leaving home. In addition to this situation, the members of this generation might also be being "sandwiched" by their own parents and the fact that they are needing more care and attention. I would tend to think that the empty nest stage is definitely a stage that middle-aged parents go through. Childrearing is a large part of your life and therefore your identity, and then when your children no longer are in need of your daily assistance, this transition can be difficult to endure. It also imposes a shift in terms of your relationship with your spouse. I can remember after I had my first child I wondered what I used to do with all of my time because now I have no time to spare:).

Comparison of 1st marriages to second marriages

Courtship Patterns: Typically the courtship before a 2nd marriage is shorter than before their 1st marriage. Cohabitation often happens more before a 2nd marriage. Children can have a real difficult time with this transition or encourage it.
Gender Differences: Widowed and divorced men have the highest rates of remarriage. While widowed women have the lowest rate of remarriage.
Preparation: If children are involved, there is a lot of preparation that needs to take place. There is even more preparation that needs to be done if both the man and the woman have children from previous marriages.
Motivation: Stations of divorce can illustrate different motivations for remarriage-emotional, psychic, community, parental, legal, or economic reasons.
Stability: You would think that people that have been married before are older, more mature, and therefore wiser. But statistics show that the rate of divorce for 2nd marriages (after 10 years) is 39%, whereas the rate of divorce for 1st marriages during the same time period is 33%.

His and Her Divorce

Her Divorce-covering a ten year period a study found that the standard of living for women and children declined by an average of 73% while the ex-husbands standard of living actually improved by an average of 42%. In terms of downward social mobility women tend to tend to the children and economic hardship that comes along with this responsibility. The no-fault divorce treats spouses as equals but overlooks a couple of things-women either aren't in the labor force or they make less than men.
His Divorce- Women tend to initiate the divorce so men feel more responsible for the break up of the marriage. Since women often get custody of the children, men lose the role of husband and father. In addition, they tend not to seek out support because the would not be the "masculine" thing to do.
I think the main difference between men and women when it comes to divorce, besides the ones presented by the book are: women are more emotional and men tend to have more of a physical response to situations like divorce.

Dixie Chicks Domestic Violence

When I first began reading the lyrics to this song I thought that it was providing awareness to the problems that arise from domestic violence. However, after reading through the whole song I think that I was terribly mistaken. Instead I think that it sends the total wrong message, it makes it sound like the only solution to the problem of domestic violence is violence itself. These two women killing this man because of the domestic violence that he committed is a bit extreme.

Parenting Websites

Here are a few good web resources that I found:

www.sacmomsclub.com- This is a site that was created by the Sacramento Bee as a destination for local moms. It's a place where mothers can connect, ask questions, and discuss topics related to their lives and their families.

www.aap.org- The American Academy of Pediatrics, this is a website to visit if you have a question about your child's health. There are articles about nutrition, fitness, general health, growth, development, etc.

Marriage

I definitely that that marriage is not seen as a required passage to adulthood. Cohabitation is more accepted today than ever before. The one thing (among others) to keep in mind when cohabiting is that if you hope that it will lead to marriage you are more likely to divorce than couples who didn't live together before marriage. Considering that one out of every two (non-cohabiting) marriages end in divorce, it really doesn't look good for those who participate in cohabitation.

domestic partnerships

Basically from what I can tell a domestic partnership differs from a marriage in that it is probably easier (no divorce paperwork/settlement) to walk away from. The advantages of a domestic partnership seem to be the fact that the members of these unions in many cases are given the same rights as married people without actually being married. Some of the "fringe" benefits that members of a domestic partnership are now given are as follows: health benefits, memberships to facilities, family and funeral leave, family membership rates, and inheritance protection. Some of the disadvantages are arrangements when children are involved, some insurance companies require conventional family ties to collect benefits. The biggest disadvantage that I think exists within these partnerships would have to be that they are limited to same sex couples since heterosexual couples have the ability to marry they are excluded.

Talking about sex with your children

Go to the following website and check out the information on talking about sex with your kids. How does the advice given on this website compare to how you learned about sex?? How does the way that a person talks about sex to her/his children communicate attitudes about sex?? How does it communicate attitudes about sex in the culture??

The advice on the website encourages parents to be very open about sex with their children. Yet they do remind you to be age appropriate with your comments and the information that you provide. No one really told me about sex when I was growing up. I attended a private religious school so the topic of sex was taboo, and my parents are very conservative and so we never had any discussions about sex. I feel that the way a parent talks to their child about sex can really convey their own comfort level about sex. Some cultures don't believe in sex before marriage so therefore they would have no need to have any of these types of conversations.

parents

My parents actually met on a blind date. I don't think that it was love at first sight, I think that love is something that develops over time. They are very alike in some ways as far as cleanliness, morals, and ideas on life. The things that I looked for in a potential partner before I married my husband were-good provider(emotional&financial), motivated, orderly,clean,independent and attractive. Physical attraction and character definitely play a role in partner selection. To me being religious or having spiritual conviction wasn't that important. Some of my ideas about my partner have changed over time(we've been married for almost 9 years). Now that we have a child I tend to put more emphasis on him being a good father(which he is!). I'm sure that as we reach different touch-points in our lives my ideas about what is important will continue to evolve. But for right now I'm happy with where we are.